Most people seem to have strong feelings about social media sites like Facebook....they either absolutely love them and couldn't get through a day without them, or they think they're the scourge of the earth and the leading contributor to the corruption of our society. I fall more into the first category; I'm on Facebook on a daily basis - and it has definitely added to my life.
I have kind of an unusual family. My brother was 18, and my sister 17, when I was born - obviously a surprise. My sister was pregnant with my niece, Tina, while my mother was pregnant with me. I was born in October, and Tina came along 7 months later in May. Up until the age of 12, Tina and I grew up more like sisters - we were very close. When we were 12, Tina and her brother, Dwayne, went to live with their father in Honolulu, Hawaii; it felt like I had lost a sister and a best friend.
Over the years we stayed in touch. Tina married young, and promptly gave me a great-niece, Natasha, and two great-nephews, Vaughan-Joshua and Mychal. I would talk to them on the phone when they were young, and Tina was always good about showing them my pictures - they knew I was their "Auntie Debbie". But there was still a very large body of water between me and them, and I really had no idea what their day-to-day life was like. I saw their pictures, and knew they were growing up strong, and healthy, and beautiful - but it's really hard to get to know a personality through short phone calls and pictures.
During the next 20 years, Tina and got in touch every once in a while. We both had lives, and work, and families, and not a lot of extra time. I knew that Tasha had gotten married herself, to a young military man. Fast forward to the present. Through Facebook, I have gotten back in touch with Tina and learned that I now have 2 great-great nieces, Ashley and Malena. Both Tasha and Mychal have daughters, and they're both absolutely gorgeous! Tina and her husband, Chester, are still going strong 30+ years later....they've restored my faith in marriage.
Now on Facebook, I chat with Tina every day. She has a very wicked sense of humor, and I really look forward to her jokes! She's given me more material to re-post than anybody I know. I've been able to have conversations with my great-niece Tasha, and I know that she's grown into a smart, loving, beautiful woman. I was able to meet my great-nephew-in-law, Paul (Tasha's husband) via Facebook chat while he was stationed in Afghanistan! And I know from the posts I was able to see between Tasha and Paul while he was stationed in the Middle East that they love each other and their daughter very much. I was able to share in their joy when he came home safe. I know that my great-great-niece Malena had her first dentist appointment last week and came though like a trooper. These are the big and small moments that I might have missed if we were still relying on occasional phone calls, letters, and pictures - but moments that I can now experience while they're happening. Tina is REALLY good at posting pictures, so I'm able to feel that I'm a part of their lives. I don't have a lot of family left, and those I do have are very precious to me.
I've also, on Facebook, gotten back in touch with my best friend, and first ever roommate, from high school. Cheryl is a couple of years older than me, and she was the first friend I ever had who was old enough to drive, and the first to have her own apartment. She's now a legal assistant in California, with three children of her own. Since I found her last December, she's come over to Phoenix twice, and I'm making plans to go see her. The first time we talked on the phone, it was like it had only been days since we last talked - rather than over 20 years. I think we talked for 2 hours that first night. And now, after all these years, she's still the first person I want to share a problem or triumph with. I am able to share her excitement when she meets a new, interesting man - and we talked for hours when the man she thought was "the One" turned out not to be and let her down. When the man in my life and I have problems, she always helps me calm down and be rational (which isn't always easy!!). She's in the middle of preparing for a big trial right now, and even though we aren't able to talk on the phone very often we still communicate on Facebook every day. I know the hours she's working now (killer!!) and how exhausted she is most of the time.
Facebook is kind of like a snowball rolling downhill. I find one person, and through them someone else finds me or I find them. I've found friends from grade school, and high school, and past co-workers. An old friend from high school now lives in Texas, and has a beautiful family of her own. I've been able to see her sons playing football, her daughters on the cheerleading squad, and recently I was able to see pictures of the wedding of her eldest daughter. The man who was my boyfriend all through high school posted my senior picture on my Facebook page. He was the only person who still had one, and my brother was thrilled when I was able to give him a copy. On the 30th anniversary of my mother's death, I posted on my Facebook status that I would like to hear any memories that any of my friends had of her......and some of the responses I got made me cry. Cheryl remembered that my mom always made her help me clean up my room before I could go out with her, and that she loved my mom's green beans. Tom remembered that she was still a little "redneck", and that it made her lovable. Things that have faded from my memory over the intervening years....but their comments brought her back to me, at least for a little while.
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| Me (left front), Tina (right front) at our 8th grade graduation. With us are my stepfather, my mother, and my brother, Terry, with my niece, Shannon (his daughter). |
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| Tina (my niece) and her husband, Chester. |
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| Chelsea (with Mychal), my great-nephew Mychal, great-niece Natasha (Tasha), and great-nephew Vaughan-Joshua. |
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| Great-niece Tasha, and great-nephew-in-law Paul. |
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| Great-nephew Mychal, and his girlfriend Chelsea. |
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| Great-great-niece Ashley (in pink), and great-great-niece Malena. |
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Cheryl's wedding, 1980. I am on the far left, she, obviously, is the bride.
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Cheryl and I, February 2011 - 31 years later!!
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Anyway, the point of all of these thoughts is just this......Facebook has brought some very special people back into my life. I can share in the daily lives of loved ones who may not be close enough to touch. I can tell my family and friends that I love them every day, and know that they love me back. I can laugh at their jokes, commiserate with them when things aren't going so well, and share in celebrations like my great-nephew-in-law coming home safe and sound from war, and my great-great-nieces first dentist appointment. So, yes, I would be lost without Facebook......it's gotten me reconnected to those of my heart.
